Tag Archives: photography

Steve’s growth

Discovery Park, Seattle

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Shit it’s windy./Look mom, I’m Chinese!

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Father you embarrass me.

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And what if it rains, genius?

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I can’t believe Ryan just threw our only frisbee in the water.

Perhaps I could fetch it with this weird growth coming out of my penis.

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Ryan. That jackass.

True that.

My only goddamn frisbee. What? He thinks frisbees grow on trees?

I don’t think he thinks that.

Oh.

I wish we were wittier.

Yea. Me too.

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Unemployment Hair

Employment Hair, circa 2006:
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Unemployment Hair, 2008:
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does it become me?

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um…

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i just find it very liberating and symbolic.

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oh god.

Yes, This is Seattle

Gasworks Park, Seattle

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Dinner at Pizzeria WHITES

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Carkeek Park

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THANKS FOR NOTHING HARVARD (jenn)

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Some park by our house, Seattle

Time: 11:40pm
Setting: In car outside public library, stealing free wireless
Mood: Brr

When someone says: you’re slacking on the blog, I like to take it as a compliment, as in, wow Hee, you are so gifted and dynamic, I wish you would blog every day!

Yes! Then I shall try to blog every day!

Then another someone might say: shiiit girl, I’m totally behind, your shit is just so fucking heavy, you and Ryan, it’s not like I can skim your words.

Yes! Then I shall not blog every day!

Occasionally a “friend” calls to catch up, and hypothetically asks about my Christmas. After I answer, said person says in shocked manner: you went to Amsterdam?!! Dumbass, I respond, don’t you read my motherfucking blog? I may feel very insulted because I think all my friends ought to be as interested in me as I am. If you had a blog, I could say, I would read it religiously. In other words, if you had a blog, it’d be really boring, and that’s why you don’t have one. Your comeback might be: at least I can afford a sailboat with my oodles of moola, and I might say, who the fuck says oodles of moola? You, friend, might say I would never say that–you, Hee, make other people sound like douchebags in your blog to make yourself look smarter, and I might ask, did it work?, and you’d concede: yes, good game.

I haven’t not been blogging because I resolved to never use the a-word again in my last entry, but because I’ve been trying to write pieces that will hopefully one day end up in MONEY, since all of you freeloaders read me for free. I didn’t get the ‘zines with homeless teens job at the YWCA–THANKS FOR NOTHING HARVARD–and every time I open the Sunday classifieds or browse Craigslist for hours, nothing sends my heart even slightly a’twitter. This world of employment is just not for me! I need to freelance. It’s the only job that has the word free in it, which subliminally is very satisfying. Right now, our life is perfect. Ryan and I wake up, write pieces that have cute orange end buoys bobbing on the horizon, scribble down parts of Big Pieces, compose absurd and brilliant songs, eat in, use Mati as an excuse to go to Marymoor dog park and laugh at dogs and their people, walk down to Chinatown, drive to the Seattle café of the day, park outside the library and use the free wireless, read our brains out, make fucking awesome videos using the simplest Mac software imaginable, and try to see how little money we can spend going out while having the best time ever.

Sample weekend, last:

Thursday Night—Chinatown karaoke with Big Will—definitely best time ever, but money was spent.

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Friday Night—Ryan falls asleep at 7, mid-Breach, both of us sideways on our free loveseat made for one normal sized person. I spend the rest of the night making love to my computer screen, and by making love, I mean writing. A cheap date if I ever saw one!

Saturday Night—Dancing to 80s classics such as “Beat It,” with Ellen and Jordan at Buddha Bar. Ryan does a brilliant impromptu duet dance with an equally insane white woman of advanced age who was either a mom with a mission, the wife of a biker-man, or my fourth grade teacher. It was hard to pinpoint her personality based on her grand jetés. She grabs Ryan’s balls and gives him the come hither finger all night. Ryan tries to pretend he’s with me so she’ll stop groping him. Nice try, stranger.

Best time ever!!!

Sunday NightComedy Underground to watch Paul Ogata. We pretend we’re his crew and since we’re Asian the scenario is plausible and this gets us in for free. I laugh so hard I snort brain matter out of my nose. Best time ever!!!

In conclusion, we had three best nights ever for the price of one.

Reduce, Reuse, Reblog

I wrote the following piece in my old website/blog, but since way more new people read this blog, especially now that Ryan’s ass is heavily featured, I am re-posting it, mainly in the hopes that someone will send it to someone who will send it to someone, and it will become chain blog-mail. In a week it will come back to me, telling me I have to send it to 7 people in order to have my wish come true, which was to have this letter turn into chain mail, therefore it will have already become true, thus breaking the wish-cycle of chain letters. And somewhere out there will be that special person who opens me, a one-of-a-kind unbirthday present for all occasions, only to say: oh, she’s perfect! Here’s $100,000 a year to do just that!

P.S. I can be reached at: jennmeleana@mac.com

Cover Letter, My Ideal Job

Dear Future Employer:

(Which ideally would be me.)

Dear Self:

If I were to take all my experiences and mesh them into one occupational position–it would be to create an alternative treatment center for emotionally-disturbed private school-educated orphans of gypsy descent. There, I would teach them avant-garde writing in the form of stick figure portraiture, Surrealist photography in the form of aggressive napping, cardio kickboxing, imperfect veganism, and proper contraception implementation. I would treat them from their addictions to god, to family obligation, to morality as a washboard for our animal instincts, to guilt/blame, to ego, to refined sugars, to Myspace. This center would be in a former Communist nation where there would still only be two types of cheese–yellow and white. I’d recycle my diploma into toilet paper. Ivy League 2-ply.

The lesson of the day: degrees are for assholes.

Each morning, we would climb the metaphorical walls of our flimsy defenses before settling into our line-less Moleskins. Blank pages–we could go any way. After loosening the figure 8 knots of our old convictions, we’d rappel into philosophical caves, rooms of our own, walls padded with the insulation of our old bullshit, writing character sketches for our self of the day. At recess, we’d have a pep rally, cheering on our own genius ideas.

“G-E-N-I-U-S! Gooooo Genius!!!”

At lunch, we’d photograph trees, bury first drafts in self-destructing time capsules, invent ten new ways to eat pumpkin, stuff kaleidoscopes with fortune cookie fortunes, laugh at the distortions, the possibilities, laugh at our pasts which we’ve pulled from our mind like a loose shirt thread and re-woven into a quilt large enough to cover our cold feet. At night, we’d reclaim constellations, snip every imaginary line connecting memories to fear, expectation to fear, preservation to fear. Cassiopeia into The Persistence of Memory. The Big Dipper into Guernica. We’d praise the sky as a figment of our gorgeous imaginations. We’d be as endless as we wanted to be. We’d take our fears, write them on gold origami paper, folding each into 1,000 cranes, into one crane in the shape of a kite, and fly our fears past the point of control, and let them go, let them all go.

And then we’d be free for the first time in our lives.

FINIS

I mean, c’mon already. I am awesome. Hire me.

My most productive hours are between the hours of 12 and 4 am, I need really good health insurance, a company car or bike would be SO COOL, can my dog come?, I cook a mean pumpkin bread, do I really have to be present physically every day?, I think having the option to work from a park or cafe or hey, my living room– would be fantastic, and gym membership as a corporate benefit, hey, I’ll take it!

jennmeleana@mac.com

In the meantime, enjoy our latest photos from the lovely Pacific Northwest!

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beer, bowling, birthday, bitches!!!

saturday night
sunset bowl, ballard

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beastie boys, represent

Happy Birthday Bowling!

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happy 36!

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family + free love seat = birthday bliss!

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marymoor dog park, redmond

“honey, when i said i wanted to spend my birthday with a bunch of dirty bitches… the dog park was not exactly what i had in mind.” -ryan

i feel a photo montage coming on!

we’ve been…

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dr dolittling…

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learning how to roll joints with sushi mats…

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hanging out with Bulgarian Best Friends Forever Yulia and Bobi!

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playing in trees…

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pretending we’re Asian Tarzan…

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making friends with homeless people/dutch street gang members…

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having guitar envy…

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listening to Keali’i Reichel serenade us after we just happened to bump into him on a bridge next to a hot dog stand in motherfucking AMSTERDAM and conveniently had our guitar…

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playing music, crossing streets…

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tunnel jam seshing…

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playing bicycle tag!

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vondelpark meandering…

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freezing our hawaiian vagina balls off…

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reading the diary of frida kahlo, rats, the black swan, on the road, fear and loathing in las vegas, no one belongs here more than you

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meeting hip dutchsters…

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reflecting…

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coffeeshop meditating…

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throwing down poetry at the rokery

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genius next level new us freestyling, singing, dancing…

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and listening.

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we’ve been in something better than love.

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happy

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new

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year!

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this is our life on drugs.

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amsterdam ’07-’08: mikey, kealoha, minja, ryan, jenn

our secret language:
every hour, on the hour, pure love avi, udu, cajon, ice-o-later, swimming, you know, theo van gogh, top of the NEMO, borishka, keisha vs wong, toothbrush vs. potato chips, i am wave, i am particle, who is tarzan?, guess the TV theme song contest take 2, panini?, i don’t give a fuck about the golden teacher, free diesel, 100% cheese, wipe your ass, year of the RAT, lucidity, constellation tree, hitler coin toss, good game, good game, things that don’t go together, nutter butters are doors, time is love, thoughts are drugs, the secrets of the universe, ne zor!, maniacal laughter, standing at the edge of the sky, pools reflecting, pools, all of it, all of it… all.