Tag Archives: philadelphia

we are just about to meet. (jenn)

we met almost a year ago… when jenn bought a ticket from bulgaria to philadelphia to visit ryan after about 3 months of myspacing. we now shamelessly post the poems we wrote to each other, even though every line is an inside joke, an allusion, a loop to another poem.

we want to remember what we already knew.

puresmall.jpg

(pure nightclub, vegas, 11/06)

november 11, 2006

from ryan:

hi.
this is ridiculous already.
days.
days before I see you.
less than a week.
i am pacing.
biting nails.
laughing out loud, by myself, in public.
singing.
dancing.
sillyness.
what have you undone to me?
5.
1.
10.
x.
hee.
you.
ry.
me.
fuck.
holly balls.
fuckerty fuck.
!!!
()
____
hi.
hi 5.
matchee matchee.
fuck fear of trite.
inner homo.
infinity.
claustrophobia.
your blinkey
your blinkey
my body
my body
garrulous.
mute.
beauty.
beast. [but of the beasts, you’re the most beautiful, ouch, I’m kidding, oh, you know my nipples are sensitive you bitch! breach of confidence! ow!]
fall.
stairs.
not alone.
youandme.
ryan-n-jenn.
lafonda.
newark.
escalator.
plus one.
signs.
remember?
remember.
I’m just saying.
shhh.
don’t shhh.
I’m not just saying.
omg.
lol.
warm fuzzy.
salty nesty balls.
ball sweat (in various contexts, obviously.]
I love brainstorming.
I love fucking.
tuck.
dali.
whether.
12.
constellate.
song for no one.
the very thought of you.
that girl.
100% perfect girl.
cuntface.
dear.
oh jenn.
I am so smitten
I might say things
like
oh jenn.
beware.
i am silly in love with you.
ridiculous.
don’t worry, I have shhh on auto.
I know.
it’s crazy.
who are you?
where the hell did you?
I mean?
dryer.
hug.
full hug.
half question marks.
woo ha!
giggle.
be still your adolescent heart.
you sneezed.
I sneezed.
myspace drama.
scandalicious.
i don’t know what this says about me?
partial-lesbo.
he didn’t know what to do with me.
I know what to do with you hee.
I don’t know what i’d do without you.
how did i even get this far?
???
heemotts productions presents:
http://www.myspacecontinuum.com
weaksauce.
strongsauce.
dismantle.
entire existence.
come see about you.
tell me.

oh jenn.
ryan-n-jenn.
4eva
2cool4school
heart shaped words
CAPSLOCK
MOVIE KINE LOVE!

oh jenn
I can’t wait to start all over again with you for the first time, again, for the first time, again.

november 11, 2006

from jenn

again, for the first time, again
you printed me on your heart
you said marry me for profit
first.
i said yea okay, why not giving you
another oops-and-a mischievous girl glance
and i was your favoritest
after your eyes lost their ability to roll, period(.)
i [on paper] out oofed you
and you have been hungry for this kind of food
your whole life.

(and all this time
it was doritos
all along.)

my memories so old–
so much
in one space
so much–
like russian dolls
circa wombs.

p.s.-ing early
you gush at my genius
and i gush at you
distracting me
with an infinite amount of secret reasons
which you will continue to tell me forever.

and when you knew
that i knew
that you knew
it wasn’t that simple
and you knew
that i knew that
that was okay.
and then and then
you invited yourself
into my everything
into my future
into my dismantling–
then i knew
i just couldn’t get any softer
and you are puddled
i’m throwing fishing lines in the water,
and biting
allatonce.

on the days you have died
i have died too.
and my mute would be louder
than all the voices in your head.

and look how much we have been through
before we have been through anything.
we have given each other ourselves back
but i want to belong to you, i know
you would keep me safe in your
heart shaped words, not having to go
anywhere, but there,
(but for nostalgia’s sake
i could whisper
and you could
call me amelie
and i could hide
and you could keep.)

and we know, we do
it’s something, we know
it’s something:
you are 6, you are 12
and in days i
will play you, will
learn you by heart.
and we, both of us,
we love to fall in love–
and do it again.
i missed it,
i swear.