day 2. yesterday’s coffee is still good, yeah man. no need brand new coffee. recycling coffee means I’m on the road, means I’ve changed, means I’m not frivolous anymore, means I’m aware of practical things, means I’m addicted and would shove beans up my ass if I thought it’d make me feel better, ooh, coffee I.V., I’ll fucking make a fortune, somebody write that down. people would walk around the office with dark roast premium blend dripping into their arm as they fax so and so care of what’s her face. sometimes I wish coffee on others so they can be compatible with how fast I talk.
me talk fast. can’t stop. words buzz. must let flow, get out of my way, have many words, machine gun style, step back bitch, here comes run on ryan, feels so good to not have your words sponsored by Mcdonalds, I’m lovin’ it, and 6abc.com, the one place to go for all your entertainment news, feels so good, I knew that it would, James Brown. last night, dinner table, 2 couples we just met for the first time, and I insisted we talk about the meaninglessness of life. I love that part of any conversation, where you can feel the simultaneous collective sigh of the group, at the realization of how small small talk really is. someone starts with how cold it has been getting lately, or how traffic has been these past few days, someone orders dumplings and you jump in with what is the real difference between a robot and a human, and how would you like to die and at what age? i love the feeling that you are probably never going to see these people again, and so you can say anything. why can’t we always just never see each other again? I wasn’t afraid to come off this way or that, fuck them, fuck me, fuck you, we’re all going to die, this is what I want to talk about. this. If you want to talk about something else, you want to talk about that, fine, but you have to step up your game, because I’m going to try to convince everyone that my subject is better, because i believe it is. If I’m wrong, correct me. whatever. I will stand erected. no problem. but you will have to fight me. I will not stand by, idly, listening to you talk about how you didn’t make the sale on time, or your mom is being crabby today, fuck that, I don’t have time for your shit shit talker. last nights group produced one of the best conversations I’ve had in a long time. of course, no group has been able to touch the classic conversations from the Kahlo Patch Kids [a group of professional conversationalists slash ona-na-na-neironauts, which loosely translated means—explorers of the dream world within the moment, I mean, very loosely since we made it up] but who could possibly challenge these pioneers of talk for they are my best friends from hawaii and well I’m extremely biased. last night’s conversation is why I left home, why I sought the road. to meet more best friends. to meet others who are unafraid to be obsessed. people who want to fly. people who are smart enough to be crazy.
I’m collecting conversations like stamps only I lick both sides.
also went to harvard yesterday, jenn’s old stomping ground. we walked 8 miles. we had ideas. we made up a character in one of our unwritten books who studies fossils of the living.
frank: so what d’ya make of it?
not frank: I’ve studied your foot x-ray frank, and well, it seems like you’re a white male, 6 foot 2 inches, and you like steak. you frequent irish pubs and you don’t vote.
frank: yeah, I told you all that stuff in our interview.
not frank: you see. it’s all right there, in the fossils. awesome.
frank: are you fucking kidding me?
not frank: people have studied the fossils of the dead for ages, and have extrapolated entire cultures and formulated little behavioral details of an entire species from just one fossil. now I can do the same thing, but with fossils from the living. fascinating huh?
frank: I want my money back.
we are thinking of ideas that we love. we are forgetting what is marketable. we want to salvador dali our lives, melting clocks where our faces used to be. we want to live in our own make believe. may we live forever in between jobs, in between lines, in between in betweens. to getting paid from society for bashing society so that we can live in society but not of it. to one day being able to feel this way constantly and also afford brand new coffee. but today, yesterday’s coffee is my life and I fucking love licking both sides.