Category Archives: matilda

Bye Old Blog!!!

Choose Our Own Adventure has moved!

We’ve moved to Choose Our Own Adventure dot com!

I realize it’s the same domain name as before.

But it’s different.

Kind of.

Trust me.

This blog will remain at

Love AND Luggage Part 2 coming right up on the new blog!

See you on the other side!



Steve’s growth

Discovery Park, Seattle

Shit it’s windy./Look mom, I’m Chinese!

Father you embarrass me.

And what if it rains, genius?

I can’t believe Ryan just threw our only frisbee in the water.

Perhaps I could fetch it with this weird growth coming out of my penis.

Ryan. That jackass.

True that.

My only goddamn frisbee. What? He thinks frisbees grow on trees?

I don’t think he thinks that.


I wish we were wittier.

Yea. Me too.

Unemployment Hair

Employment Hair, circa 2006:

Unemployment Hair, 2008:
does it become me?


i just find it very liberating and symbolic.

oh god.

Yes, This is Seattle

Gasworks Park, Seattle


Dinner at Pizzeria WHITES


Carkeek Park


Dance of Unemployment

trading bitches. or, matilda needs an xmas home.

hi dog-friendly friends who live in the seattle area and enjoy pet sitting and/or know someone who is a pet sitter!

we are looking for someone to give our dog a temporary warm and loving home for the holidays. as you may know, her name is matilda, but you can call her mati, or bitch whore, or bitch for short. she is 1″5′ and 38lbs. she is mixed race, bilingual, and AWESOME. she is fixed, has all her shots, and is extremely low-maintenance, just like her mother. she only needs feeding and walking, and the occasional embrace, which she will resist, but we believe is important for her emotional well-being.

we can pay you, or you can have an iPhone, or we can watch your bitch mutt one day.

she poses no threat to cats.

e-mail us if you’re interested in making your home a little matier this xmas! 

(i come with my own backpack.)

can’t wait until you meet us!

We posted this ad on Craigslist… feel free to forward it on to anyone you know who might know someone who knows someone who likes Bulgarian street dogs and 1.5 Asian couples.

Hi future people who want to live with us/rent us their space/be our friends:

We’re a 1.5 Asian couple looking for a home.  The female .5 Asian (Jenn) is 28, the full Asian (Ryan) is 35.  We have a dog named Mati that Jenn rescued off the streets of Bulgaria.  She’s insane and awesome.  She is 38 lbs, but we’d like her to gain a few more pounds–she’s looking a bit gaunt of late.  (Craigslist-types seem to care how much your dog weighs.)  Jenn and Ryan are collectively less than 300 lbs.

We’d love to share a house with the right people, and by right people, we mean any orientation/race/gender/age/height/hair style etc. as long as they are open minded.  We would love roommates who occasionally keep erratic hours, love to stay up all night neck-deep in existential conversation, are low drama but high energy, find society in general absurd, and like to debate about why.  We love to be in a creative  environment 24/7 with artists/writers/performers/obsessivists.  We like people who agree that slash marks are ignored/underappreciated by current punctuation paradigms.

We do not recycle, but will not judge you if you do.
We’re not hippies, we aspire to be filthy rich eventually.
Jenn’s vegetarianish,  Ryan is eat everythingish.
Jenn runs, rock climbs, teaches cardio kickboxing.
Jenn is a recovering Peace Corps Volunteer.
Ryan is a recovering radio Morning Show personality from Philly.
We are both from Hawaii.
We are currently traveling across the country with all our belongings in a Murano.
The home we just left was badass and had orange walls.  We appreciate an inspirational home with attitude.
Wherever we settle, Jenn will look for a job in education or the non-profit sphere working with at-risk youth.  Ryan will write, collect unemployment, seek radio opportunities and think of ways to get paid while constantly remaining in his underwear, though not the same ones.
We are only medium-neat, but can contain our chaos to our space.
Jenn cleans a mean bathroom, has janitorial experience.
Jenn cooks a mean eggplant curry.
Ryan plays guitar and freestyles, loves partners to play with.
We have a movie projector.
Mati (the dog) likes a big, fenced yard and/or easy access to walks in parks/nature.
Ryan is a smoker (cigarettes, etc.).
We love movies, music, going-out, staying-in, reading, thinking, making moments count.
We couldn’t pay more than $700/month, including utilities, but only if it’s worth more than $700.  You know what we mean.
If you want to house us for free in exchange for our companionship and entertainment value, that’s cool too.  Jenn went to Harvard, she can probably be of use to you somehow.
We’ll live happily anywhere on the West Coast—Washington, Oregon, California.
We’d love either a cabin in the woods or a loft in the city—physical environment matters less to us than being surrounded by super-rad people who have no problem saying Hi, I’m super-rad.

House us, hire us, or just write to debate with us about non-existence.

This is our blog, if you want to see photos/videos/current whereabouts:

If you want to judge us further:

Much love from our Murano,
Ryan, Jenn, and Mati