about us

we are one. plus one. we are two actually. we are ryan and jenn. we are us. asians from hawaii. a sliver of canadian which is jenn’s fault. we shall drive. into the not so wild. into sort of nature. we shall dwell amongst the wild animals of the forest provided there is a starbucks within earshot. we shall seek the truth and then edit it. we are unplugging from the machine. taking the red pillow. we are dreaming from a point of view that is not now. everything that has come before us shall now be etch-a-sketched, except for the good parts. good parts are hard to find. we shall find them. we have nothing to achieve. we just want to do all the things we would do if we had cancer. or not. who doesn’t have cancer? life is short: eat desert first. and then jerk off under the table. or don’t. whatever. enjoy times infinity. plus one. we are giving our tv away. we are sad. tv good. but we will survive. we love you weeds. we love you californication. we shall drive to california like borat in search of the land of milk and honey and fake tits. actually, we don’t know where we want to go. we just want to drive. maybe never go anywhere. directly. en route to no place in particular. fast. and slow. it’s about time. it’s about fucking time in its time hole and then making the short hand touch your balls. its about nothing to lose in order to win. it’s about fuck yeah. it’s about to go down. we are all dying of it’s about to go down. i want it to already be down. we are tired of about to. we slam forks and spoons on tables and chant now mother fucker now. and we chant in unison like black people booing someone off stage at the Apollo. we are not afraid to compare ourselves to the blacks. we are free. free at last, free at last, thank god almighty i got severance. we will only take the stuff that can fit in our nissan murano. what if we had a convertible, would we take less things, but things that were taller? fuck roofs. we don’t need no water let the mother fucker burn. we want nothing to block our prayers, even though our prayers are invisible and probably have the ability to go through roofs, we just feel safer roofless, with the sky teabagging us in the face as we drive towards everything nothing. we want cloud pubes to get stuck in our teeth because we can’t stop smiling. we want to discover the heart and lower intestines of America, starting with its asshole. we are hunter gatherers with iPhones. we shall upload the revolution to you. we shall write from the other side of humanity. we are done being human, human is so last year. the next time you see us we will be inanimate objects, only much happier. we are done fighting, no we’re not, yes we are. we are molecules with shoes. we know we are crazier than everybody which makes us less crazy than everybody. we are jenn and ryan. plus one. we are three actually. we are jenn, ryan, and matilda—

our dog. we are family. we are one. we still have to clean the apartment. bye.

ryan matsumoto’s profile

jennifer hee’s profile

jennifer hee’s website 



4 responses to “about us

  1. hi ryan. i listen to wired in the am for about 10 minutes a day. where are you, what happened? I always thought you were really really funny. then boom, you are gone. What’s up.


  2. This picture is a PERFECT picture OF


  3. you both are so happy. and that makes me happy.

  4. 🙂

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